I wish to publicly apologize to the people I may or may not have punched with my fist of economic anxiety into their actual faces during yesterday’s melee on the town square.

It was wrong and I’m sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me.

The truth is that I’ve had this general malaise over wage stagnation growing inside of me for a while now. It was going to come out somewhere; be it a fist of economic anxiety, a flaming torch of monetary concern, or a brass knuckle of working class disaffectedness. That metaphorical assault into your literal faces was a long time coming.

None of this makes it right, but hopefully it helps explain my behavior.

Sadly, the only time I feel like myself lately is when I put on my unaffiliated militia-wear and take to the streets to raise awareness of the creeping threat of automation and artificial intelligence. It’s all I think about these days. Who’s going to spread the word about how unchecked globalization and neoliberalism have left many of us out of an increasingly polarized economic system if not me? The whole thing just makes me want stockpile my arsenal of mostly-rhetorical weapons.

Not that any of this justifies my behavior. It does not.

But sometimes I just need to be among other like-minded and like-faced hobbyists, coming together to protect the values that we hold dear, such as economic fairness and also purity of the races, with some neo-marxist dabbling. We can get each other a little whipped up about it all.

So again, I am sorry.

I’ve just been suffering for so long from this chronic ennui over the perpetuation of the myth of trickle-down economics. It’s eating me up inside. And I don’t want to freak you out, but I feel so passionately about the need for a progressive tax system that sometimes I can hardly resist the urge to throw a brick of economic uncertainty through the window of a synagogue.

Anyhow, thanks for understanding. It feels good to finally call something what it is.