1. Navigate to these coordinates (40.731014, -74.303500) on the night of a waxing moon. Bring a white goat. Once there you will see a keypad.
2. Enter the probability of a sample mean being two standard deviations from the population mean at a 95% confidence level.
3. To enter the chamber where the model resides you must pass these three trials:
I. In the first chamber, shout out why WAR (Wins Above Replacement) is a better baseball metric than VORP (Value Over Replacement Player).
II. In the second chamber, you will find four stone tablets on the walls with a scatterplot etched on each of them. Press the scatter plot with a correlation of 0.67.
III. In the third chamber, there will be an old Compaq desktop. Turn it on. It will boot up to PokerStars with a bankroll of $10. Make it $10,000 to enter the next chamber.
4. Enter the final chamber and go to the middle terminal. Type in the following credentials:
5. Select “Update Model.” An altar will appear behind you.
6. Chant the new poll results while performing a blood sacrifice with the white goat on the altar.
7. Polls updated. The backdoor will lead you to a tunnel. Walk all the way to the end of the tunnel and exit into the New York Stock Exchange. Enjoy your day!