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All posts tagged
elections
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October 23, 2024A Stump Speech by a Mayoral Candidate Who Just Learned the Werewolves Terrorizing the Town Might Endorse Him
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July 22, 2024Sherwin-Williams Paint Color or Potential Kamala Harris Running Mate?
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June 20, 2024What I Would Do If I Got Off the Roof of This Office Building and Were Elected President
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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February 14, 2024As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
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November 7, 2023A Concession Speech by a Candidate Who Just Lost to a Dog Mayor
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October 24, 2023We Must Give Equal Airtime to the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss
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November 7, 2022Are You Watching Election Night Coverage or Preparing for a Colonoscopy?
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November 4, 2022I Pledge to Accept the Results of the Election as Long as I Win
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November 3, 2022What the Hell Else Has to Happen for You to Get Off Your Butt and Vote?
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 15, 2024Is It Perimenopause or the Fascist Death Knell of Late-Stage Capitalism?
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner
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October 31, 2024How to Burn Off Halloween Candy Calories: 2024 Election Edition
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October 31, 2024270 Reasons: Because If You Don’t Want to Live in The Handmaid’s Tale, You Really Need to Vote Harris-Walz
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October 31, 2024I’m Voting for Trump Because of the Things He Says He’ll Do, Which I Don’t Actually Believe He’ll Do