The Believer Magazine
All posts tagged
elections
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen
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October 23, 2024A Stump Speech by a Mayoral Candidate Who Just Learned the Werewolves Terrorizing the Town Might Endorse Him
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July 22, 2024Sherwin-Williams Paint Color or Potential Kamala Harris Running Mate?
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June 20, 2024What I Would Do If I Got Off the Roof of This Office Building and Were Elected President
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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February 14, 2024As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
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November 7, 2023A Concession Speech by a Candidate Who Just Lost to a Dog Mayor
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October 24, 2023We Must Give Equal Airtime to the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss
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November 7, 2022Are You Watching Election Night Coverage or Preparing for a Colonoscopy?
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 6, 2025Killing Baby Boomers Will Save the United States Government Trillions
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March 7, 2025Happy National Women’s Day from the White House
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March 7, 2025Make America Suck Again
Recently
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March 19, 2025We Are Free-Speech Absolutists, Unless You Say Something We Disagree With, In Which Case, You’re a Terrorist
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March 19, 2025We Regret to Inform You We Will No Longer Sponsor Your Pride Parade
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 18, 2025Despite Massive Cuts to Higher Ed, We Faculty Are Thrilled about Our New Multi-Million-Dollar Football Coach