The student paper with the single idea

This is my thesis. I will restate my thesis here, here, here, and here. To recap, this is my thesis.

[Hits print]

[Double staples pages]

- - -

The student paper written in “real time”

Hmm, not really sure what my “big idea” is here. I’ll just keep typing words for a while.

Wait a minute, this idea will work! Oh no, no… dead end.

Writing all the words. Writing all the words.

OK, hold on, what about this idea? Yes, yes, actually amazing! This idea explains everything about EVERYTHING ever!

To conclude, this idea is what my paper is on. And if only the people of the world could all see this about Scorsese’s Taxi Driver we’d end racism, war, and suffering. Yay!

[Hits print]

Oh no, no stapler. OK, I’ll improvise.

[Folds corner of pages]


- - -

The student paper with too many ideas

I’m writing, I’m writing, I’m writing, no need for paragraphs because all of these ideas are connected. I’m writing, I’m writing, I’m over the page limit, but it’s OK because it’s all important. I’m writing, I’m writing, I have to stop soon, but, I’m writing. Argh! There are too many ideas I have to leave out because I can’t go six pages over the page limit that would be rude, but I’m writing…

[Hits print]

[Breaks stapler]

- - -

The student paper with all the words:

Writing, typing… need another word for… just looking up…


Superfluous! I love words!

But what if there’s a better word?

Looking up “superfluous”…


Redundant! I’ll use both. It is both superfluous AND redundant. I love words!

Writing, typing… need another word for…

[Hits print]

[Staples pages AND affixes paperclip]

- - -

The student paper with guacamole

[Hits print]

[Eats guacamole]

[Staples pages]

- - -

The unfinished student paper

The introduction is everything! This is so important. If I can just get this introduction perfect I’ll know exactly where I’m going. When the introduction is perfect, the paper writes itself. Working on the introduction. Reworking the introduction. Deleting everything. Starting again. Reading aloud. Rephrasing. Reading aloud again. Deleting comma. Replacing comma. Should comma be semi-colon? Reading aloud. I just need to get this introduction perfect and then I can move on and write the rest of this paper…

[Hits print]

[No stapler required]