Stomachache, age 9:
“Take some Tylenol.”

Headache, age 11:
“Take some Tylenol.”

Twisted ankle, age 14:
“Take some Tylenol.”
(In response to my inquiry as to whether I should ice it: “Yeah, sure. If you want.”)

Nausea, age 15:
“Are you taking drugs?”

Back pain, age 16:
“Take some Tylenol. And go to the gym.”

Depression, age 19:
“Enjoy the weight loss!”

Insomnia, age 22:
“You should move back home.”

Stress, age 25:
“Take extra-strength Tylenol.”