“Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.” — Edgar Allan Poe

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If I had a snail I’d name it Mary Shelley.

If I had a fish I’d name it Gillvia Plath.

If I had a stag I’d name it William Shakesdeer.

If I had a young cow I’d name it Heifer Scott Fitzgerald.

If I had a dove I’d name it Maya Angecoo.

If I had a bear I’d name it Snoozin’ Sontag.

If I had a tortoise I’d name it Edgar Allan Slow.

If I had a lion I’d name it Mane Austen.

If I had a mole I’d name it William S. Burrows.

If I had a donkey I’d name it Bray Bradbury and keep it around the farm to remind everyone that only an ass would burn books.

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Check out other literary pet names here.