A big anthropomorphic wad of $100 bills giving the middle finger to everyone in the general vicinity.
A cow that looks uneasy.
A man who lacks the work ethic, intellect, and commitment to thrive in a meritocratic capitalist system.
White Homeless Man
A man who’s just down on his luck.
Misplaced Lawn Mower
A lawn mower that clearly doesn’t belong here.
Fifty yards long, this eel encircles the lesser sculptures in a warm gesture of benevolent protection.
A man who stands six-foot-three, which is his sole asset and which has proven more than enough for him to make $240,000 a year.
Statue that just wants to hang out.
A sculpture that no one remembers asking for and everyone wishes would go away.
Fearless Girl Who’s in the Midst
of Transforming Into the Incredible Hulk
A young girl who, dissatisfied that women’s advancement is still constrained by an economic system whose mechanisms remain largely predatory, is just completely hulking the fuck out.
A crocodile that used to run this town, you hear? Run this town!
Ninety tourists who are photographing and posing next to the surrounding sculptures.
A sculpture of Donkey Kong.
Based on Michael Douglas’s performance as Gordon Gekko in the 1987 film Wall Street, this sculpture is generally considered to be a little too on-the-nose.
A kangaroo you can tell is just looking for trouble.
Anonymous 1890s-Looking Man
Smoking a Cigar and Wearing a Monocle
Yeah, this seems about right.
This enormous primate could vanquish anyone it pleases, yet it sits peacefully and chews leaves. In other words, its strength lies not in its eagerness to fight, but precisely in its reluctance to do so. While other creatures may lock horns and battle in pointless displays of toxic masculinity, this gorilla sees such behavior for the mindless distraction that it is. The gorilla’s only wish is for harmony. This sculpture is scheduled to be removed immediately.
Panda that looks unsure of where to be standing at any given moment.
Second Charging Bull
Sure, another one of these. Why not?
A dolphin that barely looks like a dolphin, honestly. The snout is all misshapen and asymmetrical, the tail is too long, and the fins aren’t even in the right place. Whoever did this really fucked up.
Enormous Brick of Cocaine
A loving tribute.
One of those toothy fish that live in the super-deep parts of the ocean where it doesn’t matter if you’re ugly because no one can see a damn thing anyway.
A carton of milk.
A middle-aged man wearing a suit who seems lost amidst these surrounding sculptures. A charging bull. A defiant girl. A large eel. What does this all mean? Does the chaotic interplay of these statues signal a capitalist system that’s unsure of its identity? Is the country’s economic reality shrouded in confusion and fear? How can middle-class families most efficiently be robbed of their retirement savings?
A rattlesnake wearing sunglasses.