“Hey, buddy, what does your continued existence have in common with the trees in Rush’s ‘The Trees’? Neither should be taken literally.”

“OK, dude. You beating the crap out of me is like Peter Gabriel doing another album with Genesis: everyone keeps talking about it, but it’s never gonna happen.”

“When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to keep track of whether it was Bruford or White that played drums on ‘Heart of the Sunrise.’”

“You’re gonna need so many transfusions that only King Crimson will have benefited more by the influx of new blood. Seriously, don’t you think it was like a whole new band when Adrian Belew joined?”

“Your ass-kicking is gonna be just like ‘Karn Evil 9’: loud, fast, and perfected in one take … except it won’t go on for 29 minutes and 37 seconds, as it did in the original release.”

“Don’t be alarmed by the bustle in your hedgerow, Cochise. That’s just a spring clean for the May queen!”

“Kickin’ your ass is gonna be a lot easier than the guitar part in ‘YYZ.’ No joke, some of that shit’s in, like, 10/8. Man, Alex Lifeson is underrated.”

“Get ready to look like the lead singer of Marillion. When you walk down the street, very few people will be able to recognize you.”