1. Rounds/Nearly put out own eye with air rifle à la A Christmas Story, but lacked quick-witted tact necessary to avoid gun revocation, maternal castigation.

2. Single Ds/Killed blue jay with stone. Buried it clandestinely. Prayed for three straight hours to assuage imminent perdition. Lost countless hours of sleep.

3. Double Ds/Peered down devilishly low-cut wedding gown of bride whilst serving as a bowl-haircutted ring bearer in a ludicrous light blue ruffled tux.

4. Obrounds/Mother’s penchant for Old Milwaukee pounders.

5. Special Tools (if applicable)/Special education students who were “special” but in some unapparent, unspoken-of manner.

6. Squares/Punched in right eye, kicked in ribs, by white trash guttersnipe after referring to him as “Speddie Eddie.”

7. Rectangles/Discovered bloated family dog, Blue, dead upon arrival home from school and unconvincingly tried to assure self he was just sleeping. Nightmares ensued.