Do I absolutely have to construct my own lightsaber to graduate?

Will you accept 30 hours of transfer credit from the Dark Side?

How will being at one with the Force prepare me for today’s job market?

I’m trying to plan my weekend. Are you absolutely positive this classmate is my brother?

There are many competing demands on our increasingly scarce funds. How does Jedi instruction help meet the larger strategic goals of the Outer Rim?

I will be unable to attend the training seminar on Dagobah. Would you approve an independent study via hologram?

How many of your current faculty are tenure-track, and how much of your teaching is being done by Force Ghosts?

What is the annual cost of living in the trackless desert waste of Tatooine? Would I be able to afford my own cave?

Are any of these robes a little more, like, stylish?

If I originally entered the program before the fall of the Republic, can I still follow the old degree requirements, or do I need to switch to your new scattered-in-hiding curriculum?

So when you say this is a “separate universe,” that means there’s totally no way to have Spock on my committee?

Why so biased? Where are the pro-Imperial voices on the faculty?

How many times can the course on lifting your X-wing out of the swamp be repeated?

If Captain Solo is not the bursar, what happened to my tuition payment?

Why do so many of your white faculty have Asian names?

I am very interested in coming to study with you, but the Lords of the Sith have made me a generous competing offer. Is there any way you could match it?

Can I do the blindfolded lightsaber training by online video?

How do you justify your low student enrollment since the rise of the Empire?

Why do you keep saying the Force is strong with her but not with me? Where is your evaluation rubric?

What percentage of your graduates eventually turn to the Dark Side? And how many find jobs in health professions?

So every planet where you’ve earned a degree has been “destroyed by the Empire?”

Are travel funds available for students to attend conferences or flee from Imperial warships?

Where are your receipts for the recruiting trip to Cloud City?

Does every single class have to be about the Force? Could I substitute two courses on Feng Shui?

Exactly how long has your colleague been “on sabbatical on Ahch-To?”

Is your accreditation galaxy-wide? Or just local on Hoth?

I hope you survive the Death Star’s attempt to destroy your secret base. Could I possibly defer admission until next fall?

A few years ago I dropped out of the program to explore a career with the Empire, but now I would like to meet with you and discuss finishing my degree. Where exactly is your office?

Have you seen the student comments about your metal bikini?

Could you offer some students a less demanding degree program? Maybe a Master of Force-Related Studies?

Are last semester’s grades still Official Canon?

What exactly is a “womp rat?”

I am really looking forward to becoming a Jedi Master. Could you recommend a good Jedi doctoral program?

Are you sure these are the droids you’re looking for? I mean really, really sure?

Could there please be less talk about “surrounding and binding” in the classroom?

Should I retake the GRE?

What if when I search my feelings I realize that I don’t feel like training?

Are you… my father?

I was very sorry to see you struck down by the evil power of the Dark Side. Would you still be willing to write me a recommendation?