WE BUY HOUSES

ANY AREA

ANY CONDITION

NO CREDIT?

NO PROBLEM

NOT SELLING YOUR HOUSE?

UNIMPORTANT

WE ARE GOING TO BUY YOUR HOUSE

WE’RE GOING TO SUBLET IT

PERHAPS TO UNRULY TENANTS

LIKE BIRDS

I’M TALKING WINDOW TO WALL BIRDS

MOSTLY GEESE

OKAY

ALL GEESE

WE ARE GOING TO FILL YOUR HOUSE WITH GEESE

WE’RE GOING TO REDECORATE

AND USE IT AS THE SET FOR A SITCOM

GROWING UP SIX HUNDRED GEESE

ED ASNER IS ATTACHED

WE TRIED TO PAY HIM BUT HE SAID NO

“THIS ONE’S JUST FOR ME” — ED ASNER

RIP, ED. 1929 – 2015

WAIT, IS ED ASNER STILL ALIVE?

OH THANK GOD

ANYWAY

ANY LOCATION

YOU COULD BE LIVING IN A MINI GOLF WINDMILL

AND WHEN SPORTSMEN PUTT THEIR BALL INTO THE WINDMILL

YOU COULD GRAB IT AND TURN TO YOUR WIFE AND SAY, ‘HONEY, DINNER IS SERVED’

IT’S JUST A LITTLE JOKE

BUT IT’S YOUR LITTLE JOKE

IT’S THOSE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE THIS CRAZY RIDE WE CALL MARRIAGE ALL WORTH IT

GOD YOU LOVE MEREDITH

YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR MEREDITH

EXCEPT BUY A HOUSE

BECAUSE THAT’S OUR THING

WHERE IS YOUR HOUSE

THE TROPIC OF CANCER?

WE’RE BUYING IT

WE BUY HOUSES

THE VAGUE LAWLESSNESS OF INTERNATIONAL WATERS IS ONLY A PLUS

WE’RE GOING TO START A DIPLOMA MILL

HOW’D YOU LIKE A DEGREE FROM MEAT HUNK UNIVERSITY

IN

GEESE STUDIES

THE CONDITION OF YOUR HOUSE COULDN’T MATTER LESS

COULDN’T? OR COULD

WAIT IT’S COULDN’T

WHAT KINDA HOUSE YOU GOT

OLD? NEW?

HAUNTED? FULL?

PRIMETIME EMMY AWARD-WINNING HOUSE?

WE BUY THE RIGHTS TO THE FOX NETWORK’S HOUSE

PROVIDED YOU OWN THEM

ARE YOU DAVID SHORE?

HE’S THE CREATOR OF HOUSE

IT RAN FOR EIGHT SEASONS

SCRUBS RAN FOR NINE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS A HELL OF A TELEPHONE POLE

THE LADDER I USED TO POST THIS SIGNAGE WAS NEARLY 15 KNOTS TALL

I GOT IT AT LADDER WORLD

IT COST SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS

PLUS LADDER TAX

THIS IS REALLY GONNA PUT US IN THE HOLE

WE’LL HAVE TO SELL YOUR HOUSE