You’re an author with writer’s block, so your agent sends you to her villa in Tuscany for a month-long vacation to help you find your inspiration.

Your great-aunt died and bequeathed her apple farm to both you and an attractive stranger. You think this must be a mistake. The attorney says: “I assure you, it is not.”

You have a quarrel with an attractive stranger who turns out to be a member of royalty. The name of their tiny kingdom sounds like the name for a prescription drug.

With your awkward yet free-spirited ways, you struggle to fit in as a guest at the palace in the kingdom of Boniva.

You just exhaled a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

The fate of many depends on the pumpkin festival.

Your best friend has two hobbies: pushing you to date and pushing you for every detail of any date that ensues. It would be indelicate, though perhaps accurate, to label this a kink.

You do not believe in the idea of soulmates.

Once, you made a very specific wish about love, but now you know that the world is a hard place and wishes never come true.

An attractive veterinarian gently chides you for giving your dog too many treats.

Your dog keeps wandering over to visit the attractive neighbor down the street.

You talk at length about your love life to your cat.

You are pretending to be someone’s girlfriend, for dubious reasons. It’s an elaborate ruse that takes up several hours of every day.

You work in an office at the top of a very tall building in Manhattan and are secretly unfulfilled.

Your parents love you and frequently let you know how disappointed they are in you.

Your parents got divorced when you were a child, which is why you decided love is bullshit and you will never date anyone, ever.

You’ve gone viral for doing something not especially remarkable. Someone recorded you on their phone and put the video on social media. It got 200,000 views in three minutes.

Your sister informs you that you’ve gone viral. After you say no, you’re not sick, she explains what “going viral” means. You are twenty-seven years old and know nothing of social media.

You talk at length to your Lyft driver about finding your sense of purpose.

Your Lyft driver gives you surprisingly wise advice.

Your Lyft driver may or may not be Santa Claus.

You do not believe in the magic of Christmas.

After being fired from your big-city job, you have no money and buy a small-town bakery.

You make a very good living selling homemade cupcakes in a town with a population of four thousand.

You admire a beautiful vista. “So beautiful,” your companion agrees in a murmur, staring at you.

You put little thought into your appearance, unlike your beloved’s ex-girlfriend, whose hair and makeup are always perfect because she’s a shallow bitch.

In a rush to get to your new job, you rear-end a car and blame the other driver. When you reach your workplace, you learn the other driver is your boss.

You decide to write a novel, and one year later, it’s in the front window of your local bookstore.

Someone has invited you along on a trip to Paris, but you’re sure it’s only a gesture of friendship and nothing more.

You are far too obsessed with your career to even think about dating.

There is only one bed.