- - - -

Study #1

Product: Dr. Bob’s Herbal Ecstasy

Subjects: Doug (34) and Tina (31)


Doug: It’s funny, because I work in the music business and Tina is —

Tina: I’m an editor at a fashion magazine and we have this joke.

D: We say that we’ve got the sexiest jobs out of all our friends, but we’re too stressed out to have sex.

T: This should be interesting. It would be nice to have something to help us get in the mood.

[After fifteen minutes alone.]

Doug: Can you feel anything?

Tina: I just felt you touch my arm when you said that.

D: I mean, do you feel this stuff working at all?

T: Not really.

D: My neck feels weird. Like I have a little bit of a sore throat.

[After thirty minutes alone.]

Tina: They’re making us get every client lunch approved before we expense it now.

Doug: Really? The label told us we can spend exactly one third of what we used to get for pre release CD promotion on any client. Even if they’ve got a video in high rotation; one-third across the board.

T: Jesus. Really?

D: Isn’t that stupid? A year ago they were practically begging us to spend as much as we could on promotion.

T: It’ll all blow over at some point. Everybody just has to sweat it out.

[After one hour alone.]

Tina: Does your neck still hurt, honey?

Doug: Kind of, yeah. I might just go to sleep.

T: Blind Date is on.

D: Oh, okay. Cool. I was thinking we missed it.

[Couple retires to television and then to sleep.]

- - -

Study #2

Product: Blue Moon Soda with Yohimbe PassionBoost

Subjects: Steve (45) and Connie (42)


Steve: We have definitely slowed down a little after having children.

Connie: I like the idea of trying something like this.

S: We were only going to have one.

C: So, do we just drink it and kind of wait for something to happen?

S: But then everyone tells you these ‘only child’ horror stories.

[After fifteen minutes alone.]

Connie: I feel like I have more energy.

Steve: [nods]

C: Maybe like I have more stamina.

S: Big commitment, kids…you know?

[After thirty minutes alone.]

Steve: I mean, I still can’t believe we’re the adults in the house, you know?

Connie: Oh, this is nice. I feel very stimulated.

S: [looks at watch]

C: I wonder what would happen if we drank two each.

[After an hour alone.]

Steve: I don’t think that ever changes. I think some people will always look in the mirror and see themselves as the child and not the parent, you know?

Connie: Honey did you finish yours?

S: What? The soda thing? Yeah.

C: How do you feel?

S: It tastes weird.

[Couple retires to sleep after checking in on the children]

- - -

Study #3

Product: Rising Sun All Natural Performance Enhancer (Made in Japan)

Subjects: Sam (70) and Bea (59)


Sam: In my day, you didn’t buy anything from Japan.

Bea: Back then we only bought American.

S: You buy from the Japanese and they used the money to buy ammunitions to shoot my ass.

B: Oh, he’s not going to be in the mood for romance if you get him thinking about that war.

[After fifteen minutes alone.]

Sam: What the hell do they want us to do, again?

Bea: I think we just see if this vitamin pack makes us feel…

S: The vitamins we just took?

B: Yes, the vitamins we just took. That’s why were supposed to be alone now.

[After thirty minutes alone.]

Sam: Most vitamins will take a week or two to make much of a difference.

Bea: Oh, I wonder if they’re going to leave us alone in here for two weeks.

S: Dear God, the Japanese finally got me right where they want me.

[Both start laughing.]

B: Well, I feel thirsty. Do you think they would be interested in knowing that their vitamins make me thirsty?

[After an hour alone.]

Bea: All these things have put me in the mood for is a glass of water.

Sam: Maybe that’s what they’re looking to do.

B: Well, it’s working.

S: See this way, I get up like a gentleman and get you a glass of water and you fall in love with me all over again, sweet Bea.

B: Oh, Sam you couldn’t be a better catch.

[Couple embraces, laughing, and spends a very passionate romantic evening together.]