“I bet you just sit around eating candied goat intestines all day.”

“Aren’t you worried about reentering the marauding workforce?”

“You wouldn’t get that joke. You weren’t there for the burning of Fjernstabola.”

“Don’t you MISS wreaking havoc and instilling fear into an entire population?”

“Must be nice to never have to change out of your sleeping furs.”

“Isn’t this a waste of your degrees in Maritime Domination and Foe Vanquishing?”

“Thank Thor that we have a comprehensive social welfare system that provides paid leave for stay-at-home vikings like you.”

“You’re going to be totally behind on the latest innovations in iron/steel hybrid weaponry.”

“We could relocate the whole tribe to Finland and you wouldn’t hear about it for three years.”

“I could never be a stay-at-home viking. I’d go crazy.”