A man, a woman, and a blackbird walk into a bar. “Table for one, please,” they say.
Byron walks into a bar. He has sex with everyone in the bar.
Milton, Homer, and Borges walk into a bar. Milton says: “Who the fuck put this bar here?”
Wordsworth and Coleridge are watching the Lakers game. They can’t get service at the crowded bar. Coleridge smiles and says to Wordsworth: “Lager, lager everywhere, and I can’t get a drink.” Wordsworth says to Coleridge: “I have pleurisy.”
Rimbaud, Bukowski, and Dylan Thomas walk into a bar. They are promptly thrown out.
A horse walks into a bar where Walt Whitman and Ezra Pound are drinking.
BARTENDER (to horse): Why the long face?
WHITMAN (to everyone): I, too, am a horse.
POUND (to Whitman): Shut the fuck up.