A man, a woman, and a blackbird walk into a bar. “Table for one, please,” they say.

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Byron walks into a bar. He has sex with everyone in the bar.

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Milton, Homer and Borges walk into a bar. Milton says: “Who the fuck put this bar here?”

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Wordsworth and Coleridge are watching the Lakers game. They can’t get service at the crowded bar. Coleridge smiles and says to Wordsworth: “Lager, lager everywhere, and I can’t get a drink.” Wordsworth says to Coleridge: “I have pleurisy.”

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Rimbaud, Bukowski, and Dylan Thomas walk into a bar. They are promptly thrown out.

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A horse walks into a bar where Walt Whitman and Ezra Pound are drinking.

BARTENDER (to horse): Why the long face?

WHITMAN (to everyone): I, too, am a horse.

POUND (to Whitman): Shut the fuck up.