Years as a student in higher education: 10

Degrees earned: 3

Terminal graduate degrees in writing: 2

Semesters as a substitute teacher: 4

Semesters as a high school teacher: 5 (one as an unpaid student teacher)

Sections of first-year college writing taught on a $4,000 per semester stipend: 9

Sections of first-year college writing taught as an adjunct: 7

Sections of writing or literature taught as a full-time non-tenure-track instructor: 126

Creative writing workshops taught: 20

Average student evaluation score for fiction workshops taught, on 5-point scale: 4.9

Students taught: 3,825

Hours in the classroom as a teacher of writing or literature: 8,328

Hours in a year: 8,760

Pages of student writing read, responded to, and graded: 76,500

Hours spent reading, responding to, and grading student writing: 5,100

Books published: 1 and 1 forthcoming

Additional unpublished novel manuscripts completed: 5.5

Manuscripts that were finalists in book-length writing contests: 3

Short stories published: 57

Essays published: 17

Publications officially recognized by English department or college where I worked: 0

Highest yearly salary: $45,000 w/benefits

Salary for same job within same school system last year: $36,900 w/ benefits

Salary offered for same job, same school system, Fall 2016 (didn’t take): $12,000 no ben.

Teaching job applications sent, 2015 – 2016: 80

Job interviews, 2015 – 2016: 4

Job interviews declined when it was revealed the course-load was 7 classes/semester: 1

Job offers, full-time: 0

Days currently unemployed: 154

Unemployment benefits awarded for 2016 – 2017: $7,150

Difference between unemployment benefits or working 50 hrs /wk as adjunct: – $4,850

Tax penalty paid for cashing out retirement early: $20,000

Unemployment benefits lost for cashing out retirement early: 50%

Years before I reach retirement age: 17

Number of pieces in this column: 15

Lines on curriculum vita as a result of this column: 15

Times I heard through the grapevine someone was unhappy I wrote this column: 6

Fan emails received for this column: 6

Facebook likes received for this column: 6,000

Paid to date for lifetime of writing: $8,500