There once was a #Giving Tree…
and she loved a little boy very much.
Every day the boy would visit
and climb her branches
and eat her fruit.
And the boy loved the tree…
very much.
But time went by.
And the boy grew older.
The tree was often alone.
Then one day, the boy was old enough to get a Facebook.
When he logged on, he noticed the tree had posted
about their treasured friendship.
“The other day I decided to help a very needy, lonely boy
who has taken a liking to me,” wrote the tree.
“He looked hungry and I gave him an apple,
because I’m a very nice, very giving, very good tree.
It really feels great to help others! Pay it forward! #giving”
The boy felt weird about it.
It was exploitative.
But he decided the tree just wanted some attention.
And time went by.
And the boy grew older.
The tree was often alone.
Then one day, the boy came back to visit.
“#Giving Tree,” said the boy,
“Today is my thirteenth birthday, and no one showed up to my party.
Is there something wrong with me?
Can you give me a party?”
“I cannot give you a party,” said the tree,
“But I can give you my friendship.
Stay awhile. Let’s celebrate.”
So the boy did.
They laughed and talked and watched the sunset, just like old times.
He left her shade feeling whole.
Then one day, the boy noticed his own face on the front page of Reddit.
He looked sullen, completely unaware the photo was being taken.
The post read, “My very lonely friend
threw a thirteenth birthday party
and no one came except for me.
This is his face when he finally gave up hope.
EDIT: Wow, my first gold! Thanks guys!!!”
The boy felt weird about it.
It was cheap.
But he decided the tree was just fishing for a little karma.
And time went by.
And the boy grew older.
The tree was often alone.
After a long time, the boy came back to visit.
“#Giving Tree,” he sighed,
“I asked my crush to Senior Prom and she turned me down.
I lost any confidence I ever had. I feel worthless.
Can you give me confidence?”
“I cannot give you confidence,” said the tree,
“But I can remind you that you’re a wonderful person.
Who knows. Maybe someone better will come around.”
After school the next day,
the #Giving Tree surprised the boy in his high school parking lot.
She had planned an elaborate promposal, complete with a cheesy sign.
The whole thing was filmed on an iPhone.
The boy said yes.
Then one day, the boy saw his promposal video featured on Good Morning America.
The name of the segment was
“Selfless, Beautiful Tree Asks Least Popular Kid in School to Prom.”
The boy felt weird about it.
Ginger Zee praised the #Giving Tree, and called her promposal
a “loving act of social suicide.”
He decided the tree had had enough attention.
So time went by.
And the boy grew wiser.
And one night, when the tree was alone, he set her on fire.
The fire burned down the entire coast.
You could apparently see the blaze from space.
And because of that,
the tree was happy.