Whole Foods

After three glasses of Pinot, it was like staring into my own future.

Cheesecake Factory

That moment when you’re downing gin next to your old rec basketball coach and don’t know whether to nonchalantly leave or order a double.

Some guy I vaguely remember from high school’s basement

Who’s too cool for me now????

TGI Fridays

What I lost in dignity upon seeing someone I used to babysit underage drinking at the bar, I gained in a fairly priced appetizer menu.

A Honda Accord

The chariot awaits.

Another basement

A friend of a friend’s cousin promised they had premium cable but I was only met with poorly constructed IKEA furniture and questionable moonshine.

Some abandoned hunter’s fort in the woods

Full of too many rusted cans and prewar ammo to attain that quaint Pinterest cabin appeal.