A year’s salary in freshly printed $100 bills, stacked on your résumé.
One pound of medium-hot chicken wings, served on your résumé.
Ursula Andress in the bikini scene from Dr. No, except instead of standing on the beach she’s standing on your résumé.
Your neighbor’s black-and-white spotted Great Dane, sitting proudly on your résumé after burying a bone in the backyard.
Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus painted directly on your résumé.
A tear-stained note from your ex-boyfriend saying he was a loser for ever dumping you and he’s so, so sorry about the whole “Mexico thing,” taped to your résumé.
A dripping-cold can of Coca-Cola on a dripping-hot summer day; your résumé is the coaster.
Rudolf Nureyev and Margot Fonteyn at the peak of their careers, dancing the pas de deux from Swan Lake on top of your résumé.
All 38 pieces from the William Britain toy company’s “Crimean War” model soldier collection, displayed on your résumé.
Someone else’s résumé, stapled over your resume.