1. You’ve just arrived in an Organic Universe and everything is the same. Your life still has the slimy bland feel of a newspaper in the rain and you prematurely worry about dying alone. What do you use as a chemical-free alternative to Vicodin?

2. Name three famous herbs.

3. If a free-range chicken would rather be battery farmed can we legally label its eggs as ‘ethically produced’ if its natural desire for volunteered slavery is, unethically, never realized?

4. Which is more organic: Fast and Furious 7 or Transformers: Age of Extinction?

5. If my white dreads have been cultivated using only ethically sourced mineral water and Manuka honey from a sustainable bee farm, does that make white dreads OK?

6. If you don’t get this job will you…

a) question whether you should have been more outgoing as a child
b) go for an unnecessary long walk on your own to fill time between lunch and dinner
c) listen to Beck’s Sea Change with several bottles of cheap non-organic wine?

7. Failing to mention you’re a vegan on OKCupid, you arrange a date with a 96% match. How much of their lovingly prepared and semi-imaginatively self-titled “Meatpocalypse” banquet should you eat out of politeness?

8. What does “GM” stand for, and how does this explain Uptown Funk’s success?

9. Have you ever chosen a different sandwich to the one you wanted because you couldn’t pronounce “quinoa”?

10. Data Frier is an anagram of Fair Trade. Find another anagram of Fair Trade that could also be the name of a mathematics tutorial channel on YouTube.