Remember to tie your shoe laces in Full Windsor knots. Anything else is considered gauche.

Properly consume a frozen pizza by having your maid take it out of the freezer, unwrap it and throw it in the garbage.

When watching Game of Thrones, make sure to always identify with the Lannisters.

Make sure to never get composers Schoenberg/Schönberg confused. One was a German Expressionist and the other wrote a musical about sad poor people.

When sharing your nonprofit donation list on Facebook, physically pat yourself on the back.

One should have a stocked library consisting of mostly Henry James, Emily Post, and one copy of a book about fly fishing to relate to the common man.

Ladies should always curtsy upon greeting to show proper submission and a 30 percent wage gap.

Properly and discreetly dispose the body of a murder you just committed by giving it a Free Mason Funeral.

One should delicately twist their neck approximately 180-degrees and bend lower back forward to properly smell one’s own feces.