Anna, 25, Actress and Model.
Seattle, Washington.

Me: So I’m writing this thing for a magazine… and, you know… I need to write about what it is that women want, um…

Anna: In bed?

Me: Oh, my God! You don’t have to come right out and say it! God.

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Maria, 28, Filmmaker.
Brooklyn, New York.

Me: Okay, well… can you, uh, tell me a little bit about how you, um, like men to make love to you?

Maria: Have you been drinking?

Me: What! It’s ten a.m. here. This is for a magazine thing I’m trying to write.

- - -

Julie, 27, Personal Trainer.
San Francisco, California.

Me: Okay, let’s see I’m working on this piece and I need you to tell me how you like to be turned on.

Julie: This is Steve. Julie’s out right now. Who is this?

Me: …

Steve: Hello?

- - -

Kim, 29, Designer.
New York, New York.

Me: I need to ask you about…

Kim: Maria told me you were calling people drunk and asking them questions about sex.

Me: What? That’s a complete lie.

Kim: What were you going to ask me then?

Me: About… Hey, why does she think I’m drunk? Just because I’m asking about sex? This is for a magazine article.

Kim: Since when do you write for a magazine?

- - -

Nicole, 31, Waitress.
Seattle, Washington.

Me: I’m supposed to find out about women… and… what they want in bed.

Nicole: All of that will make sense when the time is right, Dan.

Me: What?

Nicole: Don’t stress about it. You’ll know when you’re supposed to know.

Me: No, I mean I need to find out for a magazine article.

Nicole: Uh huh. What magazine?

Me: It’s for a magazine. A very popular one. A monthly one.

Nicole: Oh, uh huh.

Me: Whatever.