Them: You have thrown a mood ring in anger.
Van Morrison: You have had to use bolt cutters to remove a mood ring.
T-Rex: You have used a hammock or sweater to escape from a second-floor window.
The Animals: You have used a sweater as a rope swing.
War: You have accidentally boiled part of your hair.
Stevie Nicks: You have an entire drawer of turquoise clothing.
Carly Simon: You know what batik is.
Fairport Convention: You have spent over 30 minutes petting a tennis ball.
Herman’s Hermits: You have broken a xylophone by playing it too hard.
Cliff Richard: You have a favorite decathlete.
Starland Vocal Band: You have had a threesome involving a decathlete.
Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes: You have played Monopoly with real money.
The Seekers: You are very good at Jenga.
The Electric Prunes: You have bet money or cigarettes on a game of Chutes and Ladders.
The Yardbirds: You have inadvertently worn sunglasses throughout an entire film or play.
Small Faces: You have an article of clothing that uses both houndstooth and plaid.
Humble Pie: You use “pant” (i.e. the singular of “pants”) on a weekly basis.
Spooky Tooth: You use the word “fortnightly” on a regular basis.
The Fifth Dimension: You have tasted more than one color of crayon.
Harry Chapin: You have a high score on an arcade game at a county fair.
Norman Greenbaum: You have used a calendar for several months before realizing it was for the wrong year.
Average White Band: You have reused a calendar to save money.
10CC: You have worn a kilt and a leather jacket at the same time.
Iron Butterfly: You have worn a kilt and leather pants at the same time.
Strawberry Alarm Clock: You have given someone a haircut with a steak knife.
Redbone: You have given yourself a haircut with pruning shears.
Mungo Jerry: You have sliced a pizza with pruning shears.
Mannheim Steamroller: You have accidentally snorted a line of powdered sugar.
Ram Jam: You have intentionally snorted a line of Cheeto dust.
Don McLean: You have used a lint roller on a dropped piece of toast.
King Harvest: You have lint-rolled your hair in lieu of washing it.
Spirit: You have eaten cooking spray on toast as a meal.
Commander Cody: You have killed a mosquito with cooking spray.
The 13th Floor Elevators: You have accidentally eaten mosquito spray on toast.
Dire Straits: You have used Mountain Dew as salad dressing.
NRBQ: You have attempted to use Diet Dr. Pepper as sunscreen.
Derek and the Dominos: You have successfully used cooking spray as tanning oil.
Jim Croce: You have worn only socks and sock garters to a nude beach.
Gerry Rafferty: You have had a severe sunburn on just your stomach.
Blue Swede: You have a faint mesh pattern permanently tanned onto your torso.
Mahavishnu Orchestra: You have sandal lines permanently tanned onto your feet.
Country Joe and the Fish: You have washed jeans or a jean jacket in a dishwasher.
Poco: You have shocked yourself using an electric curler in a hot tub.
James Gang: You have eaten two consecutive meals in a hot tub.
Edgar Winter Group: You have washed a weasel or ferret in an unheated hot tub.
Dr. Hook: You have cannonballed into an unheated hot tub.
Gentle Giant: You have camped in a drained pool for over a week.
Looking Glass: You have slept on a diving board for two or more consecutive nights.
Vanilla Fudge: You have slept in a bathtub for two or more consecutive nights.
Moby Grape: You have slept in two or more bathtubs on the same night.
Can: You have written an angry letter in response to a horoscope.
Tangerine Dream: You have several frankincense scars.
Popol Vuh: You know what myrrh tastes like.
The Seeds: You have eaten frankincense or myrrh on a hamburger.
Peter Frampton: You have tried dog food twice: once as a child, once as an adult.
Ten Years After: You have attempted to sell leftover food at a garage sale.
Three Dog Night: You have attempted to sell leftover food at someone else’s garage sale.
Sugarloaf: You have traded a broken carburetor for leftover food at a garage sale.
The Alan Parsons Project: You have a favorite meteor shower.