Read Parts One & Two

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Them: You have thrown a mood ring in anger.

Van Morrison: You have had to use bolt cutters to remove a mood ring.

T-Rex: You have used a hammock or sweater to escape from a second-floor window.

The Animals: You have used a sweater as a rope swing.

War: You have accidentally boiled part of your hair.

Stevie Nicks: You have an entire drawer of turquoise clothing.

Carly Simon: You know what batik is.

Fairport Convention: You have spent over 30 minutes petting a tennis ball.

Herman’s Hermits: You have broken a xylophone by playing it too hard.

Cliff Richard: You have a favorite decathlete.

Starland Vocal Band: You have had a threesome involving a decathlete.

Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes: You have played Monopoly with real money.

The Seekers: You are very good at Jenga.

The Electric Prunes: You have bet money or cigarettes on a game of Chutes and Ladders.

The Yardbirds: You have inadvertently worn sunglasses throughout an entire film or play.

Small Faces: You have an article of clothing that uses both houndstooth and plaid.

Humble Pie: You use “pant” (i.e. the singular of “pants”) on a weekly basis.

Spooky Tooth: You use the word “fortnightly” on a regular basis.

The Fifth Dimension: You have tasted more than one color of crayon.

Harry Chapin: You have a high score on an arcade game at a county fair.

Norman Greenbaum: You have used a calendar for several months before realizing it was for the wrong year.

Average White Band: You have reused a calendar to save money.

10CC: You have worn a kilt and a leather jacket at the same time.

Iron Butterfly: You have worn a kilt and leather pants at the same time.

Strawberry Alarm Clock: You have given someone a haircut with a steak knife.

Redbone: You have given yourself a haircut with pruning shears.

Mungo Jerry: You have sliced a pizza with pruning shears.

Mannheim Steamroller: You have accidentally snorted a line of powdered sugar.

Ram Jam: You have intentionally snorted a line of Cheeto dust.

Don McLean: You have used a lint roller on a dropped piece of toast.

King Harvest: You have lint-rolled your hair in lieu of washing it.

Spirit: You have eaten cooking spray on toast as a meal.

Commander Cody: You have killed a mosquito with cooking spray.

The 13th Floor Elevators: You have accidentally eaten mosquito spray on toast.

Dire Straits: You have used Mountain Dew as salad dressing.

NRBQ: You have attempted to use Diet Dr. Pepper as sunscreen.

Derek and the Dominos: You have successfully used cooking spray as tanning oil.

Jim Croce: You have worn only socks and sock garters to a nude beach.

Gerry Rafferty: You have had a severe sunburn on just your stomach.

Blue Swede: You have a faint mesh pattern permanently tanned onto your torso.

Mahavishnu Orchestra: You have sandal lines permanently tanned onto your feet.

Country Joe and the Fish: You have washed jeans or a jean jacket in a dishwasher.

Poco: You have shocked yourself using an electric curler in a hot tub.

James Gang: You have eaten two consecutive meals in a hot tub.

Edgar Winter Group: You have washed a weasel or ferret in an unheated hot tub.

Dr. Hook: You have cannonballed into an unheated hot tub.

Gentle Giant: You have camped in a drained pool for over a week.

Looking Glass: You have slept on a diving board for two or more consecutive nights.

Vanilla Fudge: You have slept in a bathtub for two or more consecutive nights.

Moby Grape: You have slept in two or more bathtubs on the same night.

Can: You have written an angry letter in response to a horoscope.

Tangerine Dream: You have several frankincense scars.

Popol Vuh: You know what myrrh tastes like.

The Seeds: You have eaten frankincense or myrrh on a hamburger.

Peter Frampton: You have tried dog food twice: once as a child, once as an adult.

Ten Years After: You have attempted to sell leftover food at a garage sale.

Three Dog Night: You have attempted to sell leftover food at someone else’s garage sale.

Sugarloaf: You have traded a broken carburetor for leftover food at a garage sale.

The Alan Parsons Project: You have a favorite meteor shower.