When you’ve established yourself as a woman of poise

When you need to establish yourself as a woman of poise

When you’re desperate and will try anything, including draped neutrals

When draped neutrals genuinely delight you

For a friend’s book launch

For a competitor’s book launch

To add that extra “I’m doing fine, thanks” to a family get-together

When you don’t mind looking like drapes

When you’re liberated by looking like drapes

When suddenly it seems to you that everything would be better in taupe

When you’re tired of having a shape

When you’re invited to a “Brown, Beige, Black, and Taupe” party

When you must travel by night disguised as a rhombus

For a funeral

To add a funereal touch to a competitor’s wedding

For your wedding to a former competitor who is wearing matching Eileen Fisher