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Articles by
Carrie Wittmer
Carrie Wittmer is a comedy writer, satirist, journalist and occasional stand-up comedian. By day, she writes for the entertainment team at Business Insider, focusing primarily on television coverage. She lives in Brooklyn with her very photogenic dog, and is a co-founder and editor of the comedy and satire site for female writers, The Belladonna. Carrie’s first book, New Erotica for Feminists based off the McSweeney’s piece of the same name, comes out in November 2018.
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July 19, 2019Hemingway’s “For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn” Re-Imagined By Other Authors
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January 7, 2019This Workplace Is a Family Now, Dammit
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June 19, 2018At Last, Gender-Flipped Movies for Him
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February 6, 2018New Erotica for Feminists
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September 7, 2016Boyfriend Application for High Profile Celebrity
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July 26, 2016Welcome to Teen Island!
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January 15, 2021Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-1,053
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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December 21, 2020Things I Didn’t Have on My 2020 Bingo Card Bingo
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January 19, 2021If We Raise the Minimum Wage, What Will Happen to My Gruel Business?
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January 19, 2021As a White Man, I Say Separate the Art from the Artist
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