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Articles by
Carrie Wittmer
Carrie Wittmer is a comedy writer, satirist, journalist and occasional stand-up comedian. By day, she writes for the entertainment team at Business Insider, focusing primarily on television coverage. She lives in Brooklyn with her very photogenic dog, and is a co-founder and editor of the comedy and satire site for female writers, The Belladonna. Carrie’s first book, New Erotica for Feminists based off the McSweeney’s piece of the same name, comes out in November 2018.
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July 19, 2019Hemingway’s “For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn” Re-Imagined By Other Authors
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January 7, 2019This Workplace Is a Family Now, Dammit
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June 19, 2018At Last, Gender-Flipped Movies for Him
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February 6, 2018New Erotica for Feminists
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September 7, 2016Boyfriend Application for High Profile Celebrity
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July 26, 2016Welcome to Teen Island!
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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May 26, 2022We Bled All Winter—Part I
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May 26, 2022Oh, You Think You’re a Real Star Wars Fan? Name Three of Its Stars You’ve Bullied Off Social Media