ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Chas Gillespie
Chas is a writer, comedian, and teacher whose work appears in The New Yorker, The Onion, and McSweeney’s, where he contributes regularly. Feel free to reach out to him through his website, chaschaschas.com. He is currently at work on a novel.
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July 18, 2024Your Body’s Updated Terms of Service
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May 13, 2024The United States Forest Service Answers Questions About Its New Policy to “Kill All Ticks and Consign Them to an Eternity in the Flaming Valleys of Hell”
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April 10, 2024I Am Your Thirty-Fourth Browser Tab, Begging You to Reopen Me
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January 2, 2024You’re a Cyclist Who Was Just Struck by a Car Driver. Here’s Why It Was Your Fault
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December 19, 2023Welcome to Big Chet’s Landlord Supply Store, Featuring the Jankiest Appliances of All Time
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December 11, 2023We Are Wirecutter, and Last Winter We Sent Eighty-Six Reporters to Test Fifteen Hundred Artificial Christmas Trees. Twelve Haven’t Returned
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July 18, 2023My Wife and I Share Household Duties, Actually
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June 26, 2023My Plan to Destigmatize Mental Illness Is to Blame Every Societal Problem on People with Mental Illnesses
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March 28, 2023What Your Favorite New York Times Columnist Says about You
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January 11, 2023What to Do with Your Twitter Account Now That Elon Musk Has Given Control of the Company to a Translucent Floating Orb Full of Crane Eggs
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December 5, 2022An Honest Lease Agreement
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November 8, 2022NIMBY Public Comment Bingo
Trending 🔥
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 30, 2024Faculty, Rejoice: Gmail Can Now Translate “Deanspeak”
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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September 10, 2024The Department of Energy Wants You to Know Your Conservation Efforts Are Making a Difference
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October 10, 2024I’m the “Scoopy Daddy”: Clarifying My New Approach to Parenting
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October 9, 2024270 Reasons: Because the American Experiment Is on the Defensive
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October 9, 2024Leaked Transcript of the Secret Meeting Where Democrats Control the Weather
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October 9, 2024My Friend Can Be a Bit Much, but He’s a Good Guy If You Give Him a Chance