ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Chas Gillespie
Chas is a writer, comedian, and teacher whose work appears in The New Yorker, The Onion, and McSweeney’s, where he contributes regularly. Feel free to reach out to him through his website, chaschaschas.com. He is currently at work on a novel.
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January 6, 2020You Are a Traitor and a Moron If You Don’t Support the Impending War With the Country That’s Next to That Other Country
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November 6, 2019I Personally Don’t Believe Solutions Are the Answer to Our Problems
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October 2, 2019It’s Extremely Divisive of You to Tell the Truth
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September 27, 2019Congress Needs to Stop This Impeachment Nonsense and Instead Focus on What It Can Actually Accomplish, Like Undermining Every International Commitment It’s Ever Made
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August 26, 2019David Koch Informs Saint Peter That If He Isn’t Admitted to Heaven He Will Finance a Decades-Long Misinformation Campaign Against the Holy Father
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August 16, 2019Welcome to Medical School, Where We’ll Teach You Everything Except How to Talk to Patients
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August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
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July 25, 2019In Order to Become More Competitive In Our Sector We’ve Decided to Make a Series of Terrible Decisions That Will Make Your Job Way Worse
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July 18, 2019I Am Against Identity Politics, by Which I Mean I Am In Favor of White Identity Politics
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July 8, 2019Innocent Children Are Dying In Unconscionable Human Warehouses On the US-Mexico Border, But I’m Going to Use My Political Capital to Complain About the Non-Existent Coddling of Millennials
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June 13, 2019Every NIMBY’s Speech At a Public Hearing
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September 13, 2018Welcome to Zilloe, Which Is the Same as Zillow But Only Includes Houses You Can’t Afford In Places You’ll Never Live
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