Articles by
John Warner
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July 2, 2018“We’re Assholes”: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Announces the Trump Doctrine from the White House Briefing Room
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May 29, 2018Frequently Asked Questions about Amazon’s Alexa Lick™
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May 22, 2018List: Jordan Peterson’s Now That’s What I Call Music!
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January 29, 2018I’m Worried My Doctor May Have Watched Episodes of ER Instead of Going to Medical School
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July 28, 2016List: Demands from California Delegation BernieBros to NOT Disrupt Hillary Clinton’s Acceptance Speech
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June 7, 2016List: Things Other Than Blatant Racism That May Cause Paul Ryan to Unendorse Donald Trump
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September 17, 2014A Story from John Warner’s New Collection, Tough Day for the Army
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September 27, 2012Are We Better Off Than We Were Four Years Ago?
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February 20, 2010I Am the Man Who Paints His Face With the American Flag and Goes to Olympic Curling Matches and Bangs A Cowbell
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February 5, 2010I Am the Man Who Paints His Entire Head and Face to Resemble the Helmet of His Favorite Football Team
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May 28, 2008So You Want to Be President?: Gaslight Action News
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May 15, 2008Quién Es Caliente? Getting Your RateMyProfessors.com Chili Pepper
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January 2, 2019I Don’t Hate Women Candidates — I Just Hated Hillary and Coincidentally I’m Starting to Hate Elizabeth Warren
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January 9, 2019I Used My Wife’s Vibrating Dildo to Achieve My First Prostate Orgasm and Now I’m In Narnia and I Can’t Get Back Home
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January 4, 2019I Watched the Video of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Dancing In College, and Now I Understand the Necessity of Free-Market Economics
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December 29, 2018List: If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers