Articles by
John Warner
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July 2, 2018“We’re Assholes”: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Announces the Trump Doctrine from the White House Briefing Room
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May 29, 2018Frequently Asked Questions about Amazon’s Alexa Lick™
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May 22, 2018List: Jordan Peterson’s Now That’s What I Call Music!
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January 29, 2018I’m Worried My Doctor May Have Watched Episodes of ER Instead of Going to Medical School
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July 28, 2016List: Demands from California Delegation BernieBros to NOT Disrupt Hillary Clinton’s Acceptance Speech
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June 7, 2016List: Things Other Than Blatant Racism That May Cause Paul Ryan to Unendorse Donald Trump
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September 17, 2014A Story from John Warner’s New Collection, Tough Day for the Army
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September 27, 2012Are We Better Off Than We Were Four Years Ago?
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February 20, 2010I Am the Man Who Paints His Face With the American Flag and Goes to Olympic Curling Matches and Bangs A Cowbell
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February 5, 2010I Am the Man Who Paints His Entire Head and Face to Resemble the Helmet of His Favorite Football Team
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May 28, 2008So You Want to Be President?: Gaslight Action News
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May 15, 2008Quién Es Caliente? Getting Your RateMyProfessors.com Chili Pepper
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June 29, 2018List: 17 Real-Life Would-You-Rathers I, a Woman, Have Had to Ask Myself
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July 6, 2018I Was Going to Vote Democrat This November Until All This Incivility Forced Me Back On the Trump Train
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July 11, 2018Abortion is Immoral, Except When It Comes to My Mistresses
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July 5, 2011List: What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
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July 13, 2018List: Editorial Notes From Your Twitter Troll
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July 13, 2018The Time Has Come to Reconcile With the Honeydew Wedge
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July 13, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: Dropping the Ball
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July 13, 2018Monologue: I’m Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees. I’ve Been Reading Feminist Theory and Won’t Be Killing Any Over-Sexualized Teenagers This Summer