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All posts tagged
toys
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June 27, 2024Mantras for the Eight-Year-Old Boy Who Is About to Walk into Target
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July 27, 2023We Promise Our STEM Toys Will Never Teach Your Child the Humanities
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July 21, 2023“Barbie Girl” by Ernest Hemingway
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February 14, 2023Romantic Pairings I Created for My Childhood Toys
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August 24, 2022Health Inspector’s Notes from the Fisher-Price Kitchen in Miss Carol’s Preschool Classroom
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April 28, 2022Fisher-Price Recalls the Deluxe Kick ’n Play Piano Gym for Having Too Many Bops
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March 18, 2022I Insisted on a Strict Policy of Only Educational Toys for My Baby, and Now She Is Too Smart and I Am Terrified of Her
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June 2, 2021Best STEM Toys For One-Year-Olds, Also, Calm Down
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March 9, 2021I’m Your Child’s New Interlocking Block System and I’m Incompatible With Every Other Block They Own
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December 9, 2020The 100-Percent True History of Santa and Jesus, Probably
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June 3, 2025New York Times’ Style Guide Substitutions for “The President Violated the Constitution”
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June 6, 2025I, Saruman, Have Ended My Alliance with the Dark Lord Sauron
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June 2, 2025The Zen of Dying Quietly, and Other Teachings by Senator Joni Ernst
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May 19, 2025A Company Reminder for Everyone to Talk Nicely About the Giant Plagiarism Machine