“Ask not what your general contractor can do for you, but what renovations have they done for others, and if can they provide contact information.”
— John F. Kennedy

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Also, the fan that doesn’t seem to be connected to an exhaust vent and is just blowing humid air directly inside the wall.”
— Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Nothing in this world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty, and a double sink vanity top.”
— Theodore Roosevelt

“Read my lips. No new mirrors.”
— George H.W. Bush

“In every battle there comes a time when both sides consider themselves beaten. Then, whoever continues to attack their partner’s proposed color palette wins.”
— Ulysses S. Grant

“Associate yourself with tiles of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for ’tis better to pee behind the barberry shrub in the front yard than inside an en-suite finished in laminate.”
— George Washington

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit for the heated floors.”
— Harry Truman

“We must dare to be great; and we must realize that greatness is the fruit of toil and sacrifice and high courage and the fixtures from Japan you just had to have that will take two months, minimum, to get here.”
— William Howard Taft

“Change will not come if we reschedule the plumber, or if we wait for the drywall guy, who hasn’t even confirmed if he can take the job at all.”
— Barack Obama

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him the subcontractor’s personal cell number.”
— Abraham Lincoln

“When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, a hundred; if the quote doubles for no good reason at all, a thousand.”
— Thomas Jefferson

“Mr. Architect, tear down this wall!”
— Ronald Reagan

“Always remember, others may hate terrazzo. But those who hate terrazzo don’t win unless you use ceramic instead. And then you destroy yourself.”
— Richard M. Nixon

“Life takes its own turns, makes its own demands, writes its own story, and along the way, we start to realize the infrared sauna was unnecessary.”
— George W. Bush

“If you renovate long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle the ongoing water pressure issue, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit showering.”
— Bill Clinton

“You turn on the faucet; you don’t get any water. They take a shower and water comes dripping out. It’s dripping out — very quietly dripping out. People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.”
— Donald Trump

“Our long domestic nightmare is over.”
— Gerald Ford