Hotfix 3.1.0 promises upgrades, maintenance, and an overall improved experience with the Boyfriend in your life. The dev team here at Your 20s™ is here to help!
- Will no longer watch your Instagram stories before he’s responded to your text where you asked a pertinent question.
- Addressed an issue where Inventory only lists one towel and one pillow. We have added a normal human amount of pillows, towels, and sheets to Inventory slots. Washcloths, hand towels, face towels, and bath sheets, however, remain unachievable upgrades.
- Crashes fixed during conversations about male privilege in the workplace.
- The sitar has been put away.
- He now reads Audre Lorde, Evette Dionne, Lindy West, Roxane Gay, Lyz Lenz, and Rebecca Solnit.
- He’s taken an interest in a blue-collar, physical hobby you can project a normcore fantasy onto — your choice of gardening, beer brewing, blacksmithery, or antique furniture repair.
- Added support for the “Meeting Your Parents” quest. Will reskin into the Forest Green Gap Polo option in front of your mom so that it seems like he dresses like that every day of his life.
- Stoner friends he has over will be able to hold conversations other than quoting Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule and/or returning to the refrain, “Remember that cartoon shows we watched as kids in the ’90s?! They were darker than you might think!”
Performance and Stability:
- Lifelong insecurity regarding stumpy fingers has been removed. This will make for fewer bursts of toxic masculine rage overall.
- Fewer mommy issues appear through all phases. Will not lose all attraction to you because you dared to request (in a non-baby voice) that an average adult task be done.
- Addressed a coding issue that led to excessive amounts of the argument position, “Hey, as long as they’re two consenting adults over 18, age shouldn’t matter!”
- As we’ve already mentioned, we really, really promise that the “surprise sitar” error has been removed. We’ve created a separate customer service email to manage the specific influx of negative traffic about this bug.
- Improved loading time for commitment.
- The possibility to only text “K” has been permanently removed.
- Foreplay sequencing extends beyond 84 seconds.
- Addressed a broken calibration issue in which sexting was initiated at 1:30 am on work nights after 48 hours of ignoring you. The engineer who coded this behavior has been blasted into the Sun. HR personnel unanimously approved this.
- He has lost his ability to skateboard.
Patch Sizes and Deployment Timing:
- Patch downloads after four years of therapy.
- If you Platinumed the Boyfriend v.1.0.1, your rewards and perks do not carry over. Boyfriend v.3.1.0 is not backwards-compatible. You need to go to the mountains alone and unlearn everything.
- For the last time: We as an organization do not stand behind the “brought-him-to-a-classy-dinner-party-where-you-hoped-to-show-him-off-to-your-work-friends-and-instead-he-brought-out-his-sitar” system crash error, and we don’t appreciate the personal attacks on our families. It’s been fixed. We swear.
- Patch will only deploy when you are not thinking about acquiring Boyfriend, which is impossible if you are reading this or are ever thinking about the main things you have been socialized to always think about every second of every day. Fun!
We look forward to reading your feedback in the Discord!