Texas is good.
I love the place.
You can barbecue.
You can golf.
I like dogs.
I feel safe.
Do you feel safe?
If so, that’s good.
Some folks need dogs
to protect their place.
I like golf.
Do you like barbecues?
I do. I love barbecued
Texas beef—yes, it’s safe!
Do you golf?
I do. Golf is pretty good.
I’ve played all over the place.
Do you have dogs?
Spotty and Barney are my dogs.
They like barbecues.
Once I won second place
in a grill-off. Are dogs safe?
I think so. Dogs are good.
Almost as good as golf.
I said almost! Golf
is better than dogs
because while dogs are good
golf is a bit better. I barbecue
pretty often. I have a big wall safe.
It’s in the same place
that Reagan used when this place
was his. Reagan loved golf.
The combo to my wall safe
is … top secret! I love my dogs.
I love this Weber barbecue.
Are women good?
I think so. A good woman helps you find your place.
I really like barbecues, traveling, and golf.
Do you love dogs? I feel safe.
SCHOLAR MATCH
BAY AREA: After a five-year hiatus, ScholarMatch’s signature event, Trivia Night, is back! Join ScholarMatch on October 9 at the Cartoon Art Museum for an evening of delicious tacos, tequila, and, of course, lots of pop trivia. Click for tickets and more info.
Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.
Suggested Reads
-
November 8, 2000Campaign Wrap-Up
-
February 5, 2004Quotes from Either President of the United States George W. Bush or Senator/Chancellor/Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars Movies
-
June 13, 2017Open Letter to the Old White Men I Encountered at the Minimum Wage Texas Barbecue Job I Had During My First Year of Grad School
-
June 14, 2017Sesstina Testimony
Trending 🔥
-
September 9, 2024A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life
-
September 11, 2024Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait
-
August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
-
August 30, 2024New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules
Recently
-
September 17, 2024Of Course We’re Going to Keep Feeding the Grizzly Bear
-
September 16, 2024Faculty Meeting Icebreakers
-
September 16, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Changed a Thing
-
September 16, 2024I’m Sorry, Nyarlathotep, But Now Is Not the Time to Pursue a New Hobgoblin Consort Like Laura Loomer