Trump has to win Florida. The state’s 29 electoral votes are imperative to reaching the magic number of 270. If Trump wins the Sunshine State, he opens up several promising paths to victory. But that’s not his only path.
This one is also a long shot, but there’s a chance that Trump could win if the mathematical concept used to count, measure, and label objects collapses. And while many mathematicians doubt the notion that numbers could simply stop working, Trump’s enthusiastic base has proven a lot of people wrong before.
BACK OF THE CONSTITUTION
The founding document of our country is famous for what’s on the front of the page, but has anyone checked the back? Rumors say there might be something written to the effect of “If Donald Trump runs for president, he wins automatically and is king.” It’s a long shot, but a shot nonetheless.
If Trump wins Utah, there’s a small chance the state will hit the eject button. It’s rarely brought up, but at its founding Utah installed an eject button which, when hit, launches the entire state several miles into the air. And pollsters have noted that with a well timed gust of wind, millions of tons of dirt and rock could come crashing back down to earth on some of the most left leaning counties of Pennsylvania and Ohio. If this happens, Trump still has a realistic chance.
As we all know, if Trump declares that election day is also Opposite Day, he has the power to both negate and/or reverse any position held by Clinton. Now there is some disagreement that Opposite Day does in fact fall on November 8th, but of course due to the rules of Opposite Day, that is impossible to verify. In the event that Clinton also invokes Opposite Day, the Supreme Court would decide.
If results on Election Night show that Trump is down big, he could attempt to hold his breath. Under the best conditions, a human being can go over four minutes without breathing. If executed correctly, the stunt could send Clinton’s team into a panic as they try to avoid responsibility for Trump’s untimely death, ultimately conceding the race before Donald is forced to inhale. Self-asphyxiation is not the most dignified way to become president, but who’s to say?