Originally published April 27, 2020.
Monday, April 27, 2020, 6:00 AM
Good morning! This is an email to let you know that we will be sending another email later this afternoon. That email will contain a special passcode, and in a separate email, we will send you the link that requires this passcode. After that, we will be sending email updates in fifteen-minute intervals with meeting times you will have to remember for the upcoming week. The first Zoom meeting your child will have is at 6:53 am this morning and the following one will be at 10:07 am. These times have been specifically formatted so that we don’t overuse our server, so please do not attempt to join at 10:00 am, a nice round number that you will more likely remember, or at 8:00 am when your child might actually be awake.
Monday, April 27, 2020, 6:15 AM
Because you have multiple children at our school, please know that Child A will have her Zoom meetings at 8:53 am for Math, 10:07 am for Science, 2:21 pm for Social Studies, and 4:14 pm for Story Time, while Child B will be having his Zoom meetings at 9:32 am for Morning Meeting, 11:46 am for Music, 12:09 pm for Story Time, and 1:13 pm for his daily Primal Scream. It is important that your child arrives promptly to these Zoom meetings, and we will be sending out homework assignments in the five apps on your child’s iPad that they must access daily. These assignments will be posted in no particular order, and there is no search function, so you will have to scroll down through 200 weeks of posts to find them. In addition to these times, please refer to the Inbox on your child’s iPad for further notifications on the 3D marble sculpture in the spirit of Michelangelo’s David that we expect him to carve up for Tuesday.
Monday, April 27, 2020, 7:00 AM
In order to maintain a sense of community, we are sending the speech that our Head of School usually gives each week at our All-School Meetings. Please take a moment to reflect on each of his 5200 words in 8-pt. font, and in a few hours, we will be sending a reflection on his reflection as well as 20 links to adorable 5-minute videos of our students expressing their own reflections as they face the challenge of juggling their screen time between TikTok, YouTube, and Netflix. We are working hard to keep our community together!
Monday, April 27, 2020, 7:01 AM
In case you missed our last email with our community message, here is another one with a summary of what was said.
Monday, April 27, 2020, 7:30 AM
In case you missed the live video announcement made last night at 12:01 am (perhaps you were busy trying to get an Instacart delivery slot?). Please know that we have activated your laptop cameras and will be continuously assessing your response to online learning as well as grading your ability to not only parent your children but also to move them through the 15 hours of activities posted daily on their iPads. We will expect you to find all of them on your own, as well as the individual links and passcodes. We will be quietly judging you every time your child misses an assignment, or a Zoom meeting, or finds the hidden stash of Double-Stuffed Oreos you were saving for yourself in the pantry. And we will be shaking our collective heads in disappointment as you give in to your child’s piercing cries and screaming tantrums as they throw their $1500 worth of iPads across the dining room table in desperate frustration. Strange, they never, ever acted that way for us in class.
Read an interview with Anna Royal about writing this piece over on our Patreon page.