• Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE

Young reader in your life? Subscribe to Illustoria magazine today. Recognized by The New York Times as a best gift for kids!

July 30, 2015
How to Find Love:
Lessons from an Old Maid

Expiration, Single Lady

by Connie Sun

 

  • Dating
  • Singles
  • Women
Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.
Become a patron
Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack
Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Newsletter
➤

Required Reading Essay Questions Written By a First-Year Adjunct Who Does Not Have the Time or Wherewithal to Do the Required Reading
➤

Welcome to the Online Home of Gary, Indiana’s Premier Erotic Bakery
Suggested Reads
  • May 13, 2019
    Contestants On The Bachelorette, Season 36 (Premieres May 13, 2041)
    by Kelly Dickinson
  • May 2, 2018
    I’m Your Outdoor Dream Girl and Not an Evil Wood Nymph Who Wants to Steal Your Soul
    by Madeleine Trebenski
  • April 3, 2024
    “The Girl with the Green Ribbon Around Her Neck” Updated for the Modern Millennial Woman
    by Emily Bressler
  • December 20, 2017
    How to Take Your Mind Off Things When Your Polyamorous Boyfriend is With His Other Girlfriend
    by Becca Wild
Trending 🔥
  1. September 9, 2024
    A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life
    by Tyler Gooch
  2. September 11, 2024
    Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait
    by Maura Quint
  3. August 19, 2024
    Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
    by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton
  4. August 30, 2024
    New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules
    by Courtney Minick
Recently
  • September 17, 2024
    Of Course We’re Going to Keep Feeding the Grizzly Bear
    by Andrew Patrick Clark
  • September 16, 2024
    Faculty Meeting Icebreakers
    by Christy Lee Barnes
  • September 16, 2024
    If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Changed a Thing
    by Marcie Alvis Walker
  • September 16, 2024
    I’m Sorry, Nyarlathotep, But Now Is Not the Time to Pursue a New Hobgoblin Consort Like Laura Loomer
    by Andrew Paul
“It’s not just that I trust Sam Sax’s imagination. My sincere belief is that Sam’s creative freedom unlocks the potential for our liberation.”
—Saeed Jones
Hark. Behold The McSweeney’s Advent Calendar. Your new favorite holiday tradition.
“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times
Hark. Behold The McSweeney’s Advent Calendar
“It's not just that I trust Sam Sax's imagination. My sincere belief is that Sam's creative freedom unlocks the potential for our liberation.”
—Saeed Jones
Winner of the John Newbery Medal. "Here is a book that is truly for all ages, as only the best stories are."
—Isaac Fitzgerald, The Today Show (author's pick)
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.

We are committed to our environment. Each year, we purchase carbon offsets commensurate with our estimate of the impact of the printing, shipping, and travel necessary to publish our books and magazines. We are continually working to minimize our impact on the planet by examining every business decision through a lens of sustainability. To support this effort, or to learn more, please write to executive director Amanda Uhle.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Events
  • Email Newsletter
  • Advertise
  • Store Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Internships
  • Submission Guidelines
Copyright © 1998–2024, McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund.
All Rights Reserved.
Search Magnifying Glass
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
 

Hark. Behold The McSweeney’s Advent Calendar.

A stunning wonder cabinet featuring the very best holiday humor writing from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, festooned throughout with holiday transmissions from across the vast McSweeney’s literary empire. Now available for preorder.

×