Humans envy my
swimming ability. But
I wish I could read.

Out of spite I bought
Allstate; Aflac reduces
our humanity.

Water off my back
a sign of no damage? No.
I plead for dryness.

Gordon Bombay ain’t
my coach and I never liked
teammate Adam Banks.

Duck Duck Goose gives too
much credit to geese; they drink
their own piss, you know.

Daffy and Donald
may be more popular, but
the truth? Two big queers.

You only think I’m
waddling. I’m not. Swimming flares
mallard hemorrhoids.

Even the worst duck
is still very useful and
don’t you forget it.