I came to this pickup artist forum as a pimple-faced 19-year-old, looking for advice in the art of seduction. Now, as a pimple-faced 31-year-old, I must accept that it has basically become a recruiting site for white supremacists.

Believe me, I had no idea this was how things were going to go when I made my first post, “What is the scientific definition of a micro-penis?” I took the subject of the forum and all the advice therein at face value. I was a student and I had found a conclave of teachers, all of whom seemed to have the same problems as me and did not have to be at work during the day.

It was an innocent place and an innocent time. We were just a bunch of young, white guys eager to explore the world, with eggs for our Twitter avatars and a very loose understanding of the concept of consent. We would while away the afternoons just shooting the shit, voting on which women we were most attracted to, blondes, redheads, or other.

It’s hard to say when exactly the PUA forum became a breeding ground for Neo-Nazis and other fringe hate groups, but looking back, I can see some warning signs.

There was that time when I posted a question about how to approach this girl at the coffee shop while she’s making my latte, and all the responses had to do with the international Jewish banking conspiracy. I thought, that’s weird, but it wasn’t entirely abnormal. Most discussion threads basically devolved into debating whether or not a hot dog was a sandwich anyway. (It most certainly is.)

There was always a communal spirit to the board, with guys saying “we” do this and “we” do that. So when guys start saying things like “we must save the white race from being diluted into oblivion,” you figure you’ll just go along with it, as long as it helps you get some advice on gaming that girl Kelly from the merchandising department.

But despite the thousands of hours I’ve spent on the boards, achieving Jedi Master status and even becoming a moderator, I think it’s time to move on. I see people on the site now who talk about treating people of other races as animals, and that’s just not right. I came here innocently for advice on how to trick women into doing my bidding.

This is not who I am. Now, don’t get me wrong, it might be a character I assumed for the purposes of seduction and to build social value amongst the friends of a girl I was targeting, but it’s not really me.

In the words of Meatloaf and as my final post on this pickup artist forum, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” If anybody’s looking, you guys know where to find me: Deep in the PUA subreddits.