The Facebook Apologies team is at the forefront of navigating a wide array of global atonements. As a member of the Apologies team, you’ll find innovative ways to respond to, justify, and ultimately apologize for many of Facebook’s actions around the world. We’re looking for candidates who thrive on regularly cultivating creative language to defuse situations with the right level of emotional reserve (total) and the proper distance from confession (as far away as possible).
At Facebook, our public-facing goal is to make the world more connected, whether it asks for it or not. Because we all know that when we’re more connected to people, no matter our differences or viewpoints, we’re happier and more productive. That’s just a fact—and Facebook is where people go for facts.
Facebook is constantly entering new non-English speaking markets and taking on bandwidth-breaking projects, so yes, a few errors are going to happen—we’re only human (except for those of us that are bots). But that’s where you come in.
As part of the Apologies team, you’ll be a pro at using phrases like:
- “We’re sorry, we had no idea.”
- “This will never happen again.”
- “It was the A.I.’s fault.”
- “Okay, but how are we supposed to know what’s happening in other countries?”
- “This was a mistake, and we’ve learned from it.”
- “Actually, we can use your pictures however we want.”
- “Maybe this is your fault for continuing to trust us.”
- “Go ahead, close your account, see if we care.”
- “Hey, come back, we were kidding! And we need to show you this ad for GrubHub!”
As a member of the Facebook Apologies team, you’ll be at the frontline of addressing the needs of 2.9 billion users around the globe. Some might call it “irresponsible” to try to support that many users, but we know it’s visionary—and you don’t become a visionary by being responsible.
Also, do you know anything about Myanmar? Like where it is or who lives there? Totally fine if you don’t, but this will be one of our long-term Apologies projects. (Bonus points if you can come up with five words for “genocide” that don’t sound so genocide-y.)
- Draft press releases and public statements that stress how hard we’re working, but stop short of taking full responsibility for issues
- Build relationships with external stakeholders who can help soften public perception of missteps
- Actively prioritize the needs of advertisers while expressing concern for user “privacy”
- Utilize technical jargon to talk around actual problems
- Create distance from words and phrases like “political,” “atrocity,” “breach,” “internal memo,” “prioritizing profits,” “siege,” “knowingly,” “user comments,” “whistleblower,” “negligence,” “legal,” “illegal,” “incite,” “shadow profiles,” “poking,” “accountability,” “toxic,” and many, many others
- Engage VIP users to come to your defense while publicly maintaining that there are no VIP users and everyone is treated the same
- Bachelor’s Degree
- Internet connection
- Understanding of Burmese (preferred)
- Peripheral knowledge of Facebook
- Love of money
To apply, submit your résumé, cover letter, and a written apology sample. With an exciting job like this, you won’t be able to sleep at night.