Originally published March 22, 2021.
The Engineering School at Central University seeks a qualified candidate for a 3/4 position as non-tenure track Assistant Professor of Robotics and Animal Husbandry, a triunal appointment with the School of Agriculture and the Performing Arts Department.
Applicants will be required to create seasonal dance performances in our brand new, 2000-seat facility and run all annual goat-breeding events. They will also supervise a staff of four robots created via AI software and recycling scraps.
Teaching responsibilities include uncanny valley, verisimilitude, machine learning, natural language process learning, and the internet of things. Additional opportunities to teach electives in farming, including but not limited to “Getting Started with Pasture Pigs,” “Grazing Management,” “Poultry Production,” and “Birthing Livestock.”
Candidates who possess dance experience will be considered highly as this position covers course overload in the Performing Arts Department. Additional skills in ballet, jazz, tap, point, barre, musical theatre, modern dance, improvisational movement, and political movements throughout history, including the women’s movement, are of particular interest. Experience with moving companies is also desirable. Preference will be given to candidates who are AI with professional dance experience. Ability to teach writing to non-majors a plus.
- Ph.D. in dance and/or Robotics and/or Agriculture; ABD will be considered but may be frowned upon
- Experience farming at the college level, particularly with AI students
- Excellent collaborative, time management, and communication skills; Insta and Snapchat skills a plus
- Desire to work in a college setting that emphasizes experiential learning and collaboration with robot colleagues and students
- Professional dance experience is desirable
- Ability to collaborate effectively with a wide and culturally diverse range of students, faculty, staff, and administration
- Union Affiliation: AEA, SDC, and/ or SAG-AFTRA preferred; Diners Club, Polar Bear Club, and Book of the Month Club will also be considered
To apply, please submit a cover letter detailing your interest and experience in AI, Animal Husbandry, and Dance, including anti-racist practices, experiences with diverse learners, teaching philosophy, and a brief list of sexual partners. Include an Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion Statement, a Research Statement, a statement of goals, wishes, and broken dreams, as well as a manifesto addressing how you will dismantle institutional racism within your first seven days of employment. Additionally, attach a list of five references of equal or higher rank in the field of AI, Animal Husbandry, and Dance who can attest to your facility with livestock, robotics, and improvisational movement.
Review of applicants will begin when the moon is in the 2nd house and Mercury moves into retrograde. Apply via the portal link, where you will have to meticulously re-enter all of the information we requested above in pig Latin.
Open until filled
Read an interview with Kate Brennan about the inspiration for writing this piece over on our Patreon page.