Area School District is looking for a Language Arts Teacher/ Cheerleading Coach/ Custodian/ Nurse to help lead our COVID-19 and anti-racism instruction during this unprecedented moment.

The Language Arts Teacher/ Cheerleading Coach/ Custodian/ Nurse/ COVID-19 & Anti-Racism Specialist will be responsible for providing equitable grammatical, emotional, health, school spirit, and hygiene counsel to students. In these turbulent times, guidance for our students is more important than it has ever been before. This position will also provide an overall vision for COVID-19 relief and anti-racism throughout our middle school program as well as design a non-contact floor routine. The Language Arts Teacher/ Cheerleading Coach/ Custodian/ Nurse/ COVID-19 & Anti-Racism Specialist must step-up and deliver the steady, immersive leadership that is required in this new normal.

We are seeking COVID-negative, racially aware individuals who don’t need to rely on a salary from the school district as we anticipate the imminent collapse of the U.S. dollar. Applicants must be sanitized and ready to sanitize others at all times. The ideal candidate will also supply their own face mask and anti-racist curriculum while they teach, check the temperatures of students, cut at least one of the three Hayleys before Regionals, and sterilize locker rooms. Expect most of your time to be split between your rotating classrooms, the dumpster out back, and the district’s new COVID-19 lab, which was formerly the music wing of the middle school.

Selected candidates must be able to operate Google Classroom, overhead projectors, scrubbing machines, vacuum cleaners, mops, pom-poms, swabs, syringes, and culturally relevant pedagogies. Familiarity with the works of Strunk, White, Coates, Kendi, Fauci, Nightingale, Mr. Clean, and Jerry from Cheer are a plus. Candidates must be prepared to self-quarantine regularly as they administer both in-person and remote teaching, sanitation, advanced tumbling, and healthcare. Position requires a high school diploma and/or an advanced degree in the fields of Childhood Development, Nursing, Kinesiology, Epidemiology, or Botany.

Applicants should drive up to the first available COVID testing tent in our faculty parking lot and call our front office to alert school admin that you are there. Depending on how many staff have called in sick or are carrying out a job action, someone will eventually come out and greet you. Be ready to take a COVID test, teach a practice lesson using White Fragility that demonstrates Common Core standards, lead a verse of the school fight song, disinfect 27 doorknobs, and give your interviewer a COVID test. Good luck!