With apologies to the great Gloria Gaynor.

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At first, back in August, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without a kid to drive
But then I spent so many happy hours thinking I’d sure been wrong
Those shots are strong
And I learned how to hit a bong

But now you’re back
From college space
I just came home to find you here with that nasty beard upon your face
I would’ve downsized when I could’ve and not given you a key
If I’d have guessed you’d be back midterm with just a backpack of laundry

C’mon now, please, close the bathroom door
It smells like crap now
This isn’t your dorm room anymore
Wasn’t I the one who couldn’t wait to say goodbye
After Thanksgiving
When you ignored me all the time

Oh yes, it’s true, I will survive
In quarantine with an adult teen who’s in constant overdrive
About a girlfriend he can’t see
And why there’re no sports on TV, but I’ll survive
I will survive
I will survive!

It took a few glasses of wine and curbside à la carte
From the only café in town that would still serve past dark
And I spent the hours before the curfew begging you to walk the dogs
So I could vlog
About this slog to my peeps on Facebook Live

I’m an empty nester, with a dream
That’s what they call me when I’m streaming right in front of them
But then the provost dropped you in, it seems the deans have set you free
So because my plans are ruined I’ll be spilling all the tea

C’mon now, please, that’s the bedroom floor
It’s not for dishes now
This isn’t your frat house anymore
Wasn’t I the one who couldn’t wait to say goodbye
After the holidays
When you built a table for “beer die”

I guess it’s true, I will survive
Isolating with an adult teen who barely looks alive
In the mornings before noon
When I’m doing yoga via Zoom, but I’ll survive
I will survive
I will survive!

Ugh, dude…
C’mon now, please, you carnivore
Stop cooking steak now
We don’t eat meat here anymore
Wasn’t I the one who couldn’t wait to say goodbye
After the “ski break”
When you sucked my savings dry

FFS, it’s true, I will survive
In quarantine with an adult teen, you know you’ve been deprived
Of your favorite gummi bear
Edibles – but I’ll share – and we’ll survive
We will survive
We will survive!

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In case you need the tune to help sing-a-long with…