1. You’ve earned that second Cinnabon.
2. Your Fitbit will never understand you like we do.
3. No one’s noticed you’ve worn us every day for the last three weeks.
4. That crossing guard just mistook you for Kate Hudson.
5. You haven’t gained an ounce this winter! Elastic waistbands are notoriously trustworthy.
6. We’re meant to double as pajamas.
7. It makes perfect sense to drop everything and drive three towns over to grab a $12 pineapple-papaya smoothie.
8. It’s not you — those jeans wouldn’t fit an American Girl doll.
9. Sure, you can wear us to a wedding, you just need a blowout and the right accessories.
10. $118 isn’t too much to spend for two 16-inch scraps of performance-enhancing lycra. You’re not buying pants; you’re investing in a lifestyle.
11. Your devotion to us is in no way similar to that two-year stint in maternity pants.
12. Of course you can run that half-marathon tomorrow after months of inactivity. Conditioning is a myth fabricated by tights-wearing physical therapists.
13. You could learn ancient Sanskrit if only you had more free time.
14. One of these days you’ll actually try yoga.