The Hindenburg

Sliding down the stairs in a laundry basket

Sharing an elevator with four teens who keep jumping up and down to scare me

Air Force One (the one that got hijacked, from the movie)

A Volkswagen Beetle packed way over the fifteen-clown capacity

Being launched out of a cannon

Any plane referred to as a “flying machine”

Any car referred to as a “jalopy”

The S.S. Minnow during a sea squall

Working the Frialator in the back of a food truck as it screams down a potholed New England road

Riding a camel through the desert when I forgot to apply sunscreen and I’m already halfway through the one Riptide Rush Gatorade I packed

The Orient Express (the one with the murder on it, from the movie)

When a baby deer is trying to cross a slippery frozen pond on its little stick legs

Literally any time machine

Parasailing through a lightning storm in my favorite chainmail

Running up the down escalator

But NOT running down the up escalator—that’s dangerous and someone could get hurt

Smuggling myself inside my friend’s suitcase so we could get half-price on spring break flights

Buses that can’t go under fifty miles per hour

Traveling the ocean inside a whale’s mouth

A handbasket on its way down to hell

The MBTA Orange Line

The purple Ford Escort I drove in high school that never once got an oil change, because my dad was like, “You need to learn to do things for yourself,” and I was like, “Okay,” and then I avoided it because I was too anxious, and a few weeks later when Dad said, “Did you ever get your oil changed?” I said, “Yeah, of course.”

Jeff Bezos’s penis rocket

The Titanic (the one that sank, from the movie)