Hi, great to connect. I’m a passionate creative who crafts captivating stories for high-quality clients, because my preference is to live.

Here’s my card. Yes, the gold foil does coordinate nicely with the logo because, apparently, this is the kind of stuff I’m supposed to do if I don’t want to be broke, in a country that happily lets broke people die of whatever disease they ignored because pretending it’s not bleeding that bad is easier than trying to figure out if seeking medical attention will shove you into that #vanlife, less in the Instagram way and more in the Nomadland poop-bucket kind of way.

Whoops, got a little off message there! My content pillars are creativity, productivity, and definitely not the idea that if I can’t shell out two weeks’ worth of grocery money every month to pay for the insurance that’s supposed to prevent the medical debt people in other developed countries can’t even fathom, I’ll have to reset any bones I might break with a YouTube tutorial and a trip to the hardware store.

Do you think my logo would stand out on GoFundMe? I finally figured out what a deductible is.

Who’s to say if you’re ever doing enough, which is why I built every possible element for a viable brand:

  • My brand’s purpose is to bring incredible storytelling value to my clients and to not perish on a gurney in the hallway of a state-run facility while the sound of today’s Maury paternity reveal blares in from the waiting room TV.
  • My brand’s values are service, success, and the continued existence of my human form.
  • My brand’s personality certainly does not have anxiety disorder and miss its therapist since it had to switch from the $490 a month insurance to the $157, through which everything but a general practitioner accessible only by camel or prop plane is out of network.
  • My brand’s tagline is: Writing for my life!

I would love for my brand not to include my family’s history of breast cancer or any brain tumors or diabetes, lupus, multiple sclerosis, or Alzheimer’s. So of course I left them out of my brand vision. But there’s only so much you can do. A brand vision is like a prayer in that way!

I’m not crying! That would be way off-brand. Seriously though, if I start having a panic attack, do not call 911.

I build brand awareness by creating and curating content on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat, and TikTok. Am I missing anything? It’s vital I do this right. (Between you and me, I’m also on Match, Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid, and Coffee Meets Bagel, because legally binding myself to a fellow human for life is another way to get access to screenings to see if the skin cancer is back.)

I think all this is less complicated than filing for bankruptcy, but who’s to say?

I mean, I do agree that people who choose to work in traditional employment deserve to live more than independent contractors do. That makes sense. All the same, my brand strategy is to survive freelancing.

It’s important for me to dedicate my life, no matter how soon it gets cut short by a preventable disease, to the creative work I make every day for the 15 minutes I have left after scheduling all my social media posts, Facetuning out my worry lines, and googling the reasons I might be limping.

But it’s not all work! My roommates and I like to end the night with mindless TV, like watching the Kardashians summon a doctor to their home to settle a bet about whose juice cleanse gave them the higher white blood cell count. And I’m still crossing my fingers that one day Dr. Oz will answer my letters about the rash!

Overall, a personal brand must arise from and distill your authentic self. Check! I can honestly say I am terrified.