Hi, neighbors —

We just wrapped another productive neighborhood council meeting yesterday. Lisa should be getting those meeting notes out to us any day now. I am messaging the listserv separately about one particular topic of community concern, though. The volunteer neighborhood watch team, led by Lisa’s husband Louis, has flagged that an unfamiliar vehicle is making rounds in our quiet suburb streets.

Before you get too worried, the vehicle is said to be giving off more of a “sad vibe” than a dangerous one. Neighbors reported hearing angelic singing interspersed with assorted sobbing noises. Mary, a witness of the vehicle’s drive-bys, spoke at the meeting to share the following: “The melody from the vehicle brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know. I just felt the pangs of heartbreak like when (neighborhood council member) Colin ended things back in high school. You know, before I met my Jimbo.”

The driver appears to be an angel-voiced, dark-haired girl. She is reported to have gotten visibly agitated at the thought of a blonde girl, though. The young lady in question is definitely a brunette. She appears to drive alone but is sometimes accompanied by a camera crew. She seems most upset when driving by one particular street. We have not yet ascertained why that street, but my teenaged daughter says a cute boy lives there.

Community members are concerned she was driving on top of double yellow lines and outside of her lane at various hours of the night and fear for her well-being and safety. One community member says she saw her hanging upside down from her vehicle while continuing to sing. It is unclear if the car was moving or not. While it looked pretty cool, we do not want to encourage such risky behavior in our youths.

She was last reported seen singing about stop signs near local stop signs. Our top priority is ensuring this young woman is okay. If she is okay, we will also invite her to perform at our spring concert, as many of you have requested. FYI: Concert tickets will be on sale soon… ask Bobby or Janie about preorders.

The neighborhood watch volunteers will keep monitoring the mystery songstress situation. Message us any tips on her whereabouts… or song suggestions for the spring concert. The theme is “new beginnings.”

— Your Neighborhood Council Chair, Pam on Park St

P.S. Congrats to a very special young lady in our community that recently earned her driver’s license. Way to go, Olivia! Vroom, vroom!