“Hi. My name is Gerald. I’ll be your waiter.”

“Hi there. I’ll have two fried eggs, over easy, and a side of bacon.”

“My daughter was with me and now she’s just gone. She was standing right beside me and now I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Excuse me, what time is it?”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

“Where are you going for your honeymoon?”

“That’ll be $9.98 with tax.”

“We’ll have to weigh your package before we send it, of course.”

“Okay, walk around a bit. How do they feel? Is there enough room in the toe?”

“License and registration, please.”

“My office hours are from three to six every Wednesday.”

“Do you have change for a dollar?”

“Take a left at the next intersection. It’s the third building on the right.”

“Yes, hi. I was just calling to find out how late you’re staying open tonight.”

“How do you plead?”

“Could you remove your hat, please? You’re blocking my view of the stage. Thanks.”

“And that concludes the news for this evening. Good night.”

“Welcome to your new foster home, son.”