Needs glass of water

Spilled glass of water

Needs shower temperature adjusted by imperceptible degree

Scrubby thing stuck to faucet

Needs towel that is hanging approx. 15 inches away

Itchy kneecaps require lotion

Needs help rubbing lotion into kneecaps

Too much lotion on kneecaps!

Kneecaps sting real bad

Needs band-aid

Not that band-aid

Announcing need for or accomplishment of defecation

Wants you to watch stuffed dog being thrown into the air

Wants you to watch stuffed dog being punched in the face

Wonders whether it hurts Godzilla’s feelings when he is attacked with planes and guns when all he wants is a snack

Wants a snack

Wonders what happens after death

Wonders why someone spray-painted “GOD IS DEAD” on the side of that bridge

Requires concise introduction to existentialism

Requires boxes of various sizes

Requires hot glue gun for that goddamn balsa wood airplane you bought in Latvia

Just making sure you’re still there