Be mysterious and playful
“Guess which of our daughters has a urinary tract infection?”

Send them sexy pics and texts during the day
“Here is a picture of the dishwasher loaded The Right Way per your written instructions. It is superior to my way.”

When they ask you a question, look them in the eye when you answer
“Yeah honey, that does look like pink-eye.”

Give them coupons for something they love
“Here is a coupon for you to go to Target and just walk around until I text you that the kids are asleep, go now — the kids are coming — save yourself.”

When you spend time apart, tell them intimate little details of your day to keep them feeling close
“I saw three dead birds today.”

Make them a mixtape
“If you give Run the Jewels one more shot I think you would like them. Killer Mike has a show on Netflix now.”

Go back to where you had your first date
“I mean, I guess it makes sense to tear it down after the murder, but it was a really good Denny’s.”

Send unexpected text messages during the day
“The school called, your son forgot to wear underwear again and had an accident. Apparently, the art room looks like an oil spill. I’m not dealing with it.”

Go for a walk in the park. Hold hands.
“This is really nice.”

Say I love you
“I love you.”