There’s is a new app you just have to try! It’s called FaceApp, and it allows you to upload a picture of yourself and manipulate the image using filters. There are two filters that show you smiling, one filter that shows you as a person of the opposite gender, another filter that creates a smoothed-out younger version of yourself and another one that shows you as an old person. The “old” version of my face is particularly funny, and it has definitely not caused me psychological trauma or served as a sobering reminder every time I look in the mirror of the fleetingness of time and the inevitability of death.
Seriously, it hasn’t. In fact, I think the “old” version of my face is hilarious, and it certainly does not shake me to the core of my very being every time I so much as think of it. I mean, it’s not like I am afraid to look at my own reflection anymore lest I catch a glimpse of my soon-to-be creased forehead, drooping jowls or liver-spotted skin. That would be ridiculous.
After all, it’s just an app! These types of things come along every few months and fade away just as quickly as they appeared. Just as the memories of seeing your digitally rendered face ruined by time will quickly fade away. That is, if seeing a version of yourself at death’s door upsets you, or makes you break out into a cold sweat as you ponder the ephemerality of life. Which it definitely does not for me.
And look, I’m not in denial about this either if that’s what you’re thinking. If I had a problem seeing a digital version of myself with one foot in the grave, I would admit it. But I don’t. You know, part of growing older is becoming more in tune with yourself as a person and the feelings that you feel. So, if I were feeling that with each passing day my face seemed to be morphing ever so quickly into the “old” version of myself from the FaceApp as the ravages of time took their toll on my once youthful countenance, then, yeah, that might cause me some psychological trauma, and I would admit that it was bothering me. But it’s not bothering me.
If I were afraid to look into the mirror because I could not look into my own eyes without seeing the grim, creeping specter of Death looming just below the surface of my ever-aging skin, and it resulted in me neglecting my own personal hygiene to the point where it became “a problem” with my HR department at work, then, yeah, I would say I was having an issue with it. But, again, I’m not!
Put it this way, if the only way I were able to smile anymore would be to load my picture into FaceApp and choose one of the app’s two smile filters, then, yeah, I might admit that the prospect of my own mortality as a result of seeing myself as a near-corpse was too much for one man to bear. But I’m not feeling that either. So, no, I am definitely not in denial about this.
Please, if you haven’t already, download the FaceApp today — and I’m not just saying that because I am an emotionally exhausted psychological wreck from hours of scanning my skin for aged-related imperfections, new wrinkles or the ever-dreaded crow’s feet that populated the “old” version of my face and I want someone else to share in the existential horror that only comes with seeing yourself as a withered husk of your former self. I’m saying it because it’s fun! Really, what’s more fun than being reminded, as you lock eyes with the cold and emotionless gaze of your older self, that we all only have so much time on this godforsaken planet and that every breath we take brings us one step closer to our last? Nothing! Also, it’s free! What are you waiting for, dummy? Download FaceApp today and come stare into the abyss with the rest of us!