“House Democrats called ‘f***ing useless’ for singing ‘God Bless America’ by Capitol after Roe ruling.” – The Independent 6/25/22

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Great job singing on the steps, everyone! I know it was a sad occasion, but you all really rocked it out there. Getting that performance together took all of our brainpower for the last several weeks and it totally paid off.

As one of the most senior congresspeople and musical director of the group, I just want to say that we did something really important: We harmonized a little. Outdoors. Terrible acoustics, but you all made the best of a tough situation.

I love that we can come together, reaching across the aisle to appreciate what makes us American: a cappella singing. We are like Pitch Perfect, only we have jobs. We should invite Anna Kendrick to a congressional hearing. Or better yet, we should subpoena The Bellas. Then they would have to come.

I wish we could just sing all the time. I have read so many bills lately, but to be honest, all I want to do is work on my vocal percussion. I know we’ve been relying heavily on Steny to bring the beatboxing, but I’m doing my best to help him out at a few gigs here and there.

I realize some of you are probably getting emails from your staffers about Roe, and that actually brings me to my next order of business: solos. We’ll be auditioning solos next week for our upcoming gig at the Hay-Adams Hotel Bipartisan Brunch, where we come together from both sides of the aisle to appreciate breakfast foods as one united country.

We’ll be singing “I’ve Got Rhythm” from the classic Gene Kelly film An American in Paris. It’s about chic Americans, like us. We’ll also be working on our aca-bopping this week, so please don’t be late for rehearsal. We can’t be out of rhythm when we’re singing about it. I can’t believe there could be anything more important going on this week than our bipartisan bopping practice.

Yes, yes, I know that Roe was overturned—which gives me a great idea: choreography!

Since it’s Roe v. Wade, I thought we could have one half of the group pretend to fight the other half. Get it? Like versus each other. And then we’ll come together and really hit the choreo. Nancy, can’t wait to see that belly roll.

Choreography will absolutely get us into nationals. And if we’re really serious about a cappella, we’re going to have to put this first. I know you were all elected to do jobs for your districts, and to that, I say: Let’s show those districts how great their congresswoman is at belting Aretha. They’ll definitely elect you again if you can sing the heck out of R-E-S-P-E-C-T!